i think my tv is drunk
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Randomize
