the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Couch. On fire.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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