Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
