dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
