Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
