Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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