he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
