the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
