The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
