At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
my shit smells like andre
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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