you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize