If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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