Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
