i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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