What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
