I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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