It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
