Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
