I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
