Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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