At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
