Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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