I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
