Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
