1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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