I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
