TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize