Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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