Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize