just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
