I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
They are going to name an STD after you.
not ubering you a puppy
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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