He is an equal opportunity slut.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
