Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize