It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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