Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
