Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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