this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
