Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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