Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
