I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
