Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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