Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
