It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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