I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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