you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My penis needs a shock collar
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
