Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
