I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
