how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
