Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
