Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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