why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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