just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
