a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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