wanna go halves on a baby?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
