i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He better not be in your backpack
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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