when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
