I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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