we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
