Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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