You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
