sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
