Joe is yelling at the trees again.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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