If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I did not marry a roomba.
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